The End of a (Short but Awesome) Era

Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day & night, it’s only right
To think about the *guy* you love and hold *him* tight
So happy together

This week brought about the end of a wonderful relationship.

If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me, and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together

From day one, I knew the relationship was whole and pure. It just felt right. We melded together perfectly, forming one symbiotic relationship.

I can’t see me loving nobody but you
For all my life
When you’re with me, baby the skies will be blue
For all my life

Just being in each other's presence made me happy. We did great things together and even traveled the globe with each other. We experienced things that I had never experienced before. In short, life was good. You made me complete.

Me and you, and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

Almost on a daily basis I was reminded of just how "right" I was to be in the relationship with you. No matter what I was watching on TV it seemed it was inevitable that you would be there, showing your stuff to the rest of the world. It seemed liked bragging, but in this case, it was deserved, but I was still a little jealous that others were holding you.

I can’t see me loving nobody but you
For all my life
When you’re with me, baby the skies will be blue
For all my life

At first, I denied the feelings of lust of that I felt inside my soul. I stood on the sidelines and watched others who were so happy together. I ignored what my heart was yelling at me, pretending that I didn't need you in my life.

Me and you, and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

But now that it's over, I see you everywhere. Everyone seems to have you but me - lovingly caressing your flawless exterior. Watching them experience the pure joy when they do the simplest of tasks with you - effortlessly - breaks my heart.

Me and you, and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together
So happy together
How is the weather
So happy together
We’re happy together
So happy together
We’re happy together
So happy together
So happy together…

And the sad thing is that I've replaced you with something wholly and completely inferior in every way except one - but I cannot ignore that one as it is significant. You see, because of the ineptitude at AT&T Wireless, I am not able to take you with me. Where I am going, you cannot follow. I'm sorry.

In the meantime, I'll subsist by watching others enjoy you. Maybe we can even get together once in a while when I need a quick fix, a "Beauty Call" if you will...



So goodbye, iPhone. It's not you, it's me. Really. Maybe one day, AT&T wireless will get their $hit together and allow people to use you when they belong to a corporate account. If only I weren't doing so much international travel, I would gladly foot the bill to use you.

Goodbye, iPhone. Hello, brick.



Ugh.

First Day of School!

One of our favorite traditions is the annual "first day of school" pictures. It was an especially long Summer this year, making it extra hard to get up and get going on the first day of school this year.



"No Keely, you can't have a Myspace page on the internet. Daddy will post pictures of you on our blog for your friends to see."



"Daddy, quit it!" is normally the sentence that goes with this look from Reagan. Only this time it was Mommy, not Daddy (I was in California at the time, so I'm completely blameless. For once.)



"What the? How did that blanket get in my bed?"



Ah, the difference between the first day for elementary school kids and middle school kids. Smiles for them and a scowl from Keely. Although, come to think of it, middle school does kind of stink, so maybe the scowl is deserved.

Seeju's Birthday!

Happy 28th birthday, Seeju!

OK, since she'll kill me for putting that picture up, look at this one instead:

Eating Poo Chutes

I was planning on waiting until I got home to do a pretty lengthy (well, lengthy for ME) post on my trip to Taiwan. However, this experience was just too fresh to not share with my many minions while they sleep peacefully.

It seems like I've been eating non-stop since I got here, which I expected. The cool thing about eating in Asia in general is that while you can eat and have a "full" sensation, it's very difficult to have that "ugh, I ate too much" feeling. Just a different set of ingredients I guess.

I've eaten some pretty weird stuff over the years. A game that I am quite fond of when I travel to places like Japan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia, Manila, and now Taiwan is the game where the locals like to increasingly "test" their guest to see just how far down the path of culinary experience he will travel. I go a long way, baby, I can tell you that. To date, I've never said "no" to anything placed in front of me; experiencing the food of another culture is perhaps one of the most joyous activities on this Earth for me.

For lunch today, we went out and once again had a very good, local Taiwanese meal. The flavors are simple and light and nothing like what one would normally experience in U.S. Chinese food eateries. Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but there is no Sweet and Sour anything over here and I have yet to run across General Tso and his famous poultry.

Just when I thought the meal had ended, it was announced that there was one more dish coming out. I had room, so bring it on I thought. It was obvious from moment one that this dish was some sort of animal part (mmmmmmmmmmm...) that was deep fried (double mmmmmmmmmmmm...). Upon further inspection, it's distinct tubular shape betrayed it's true origin: a pig's intestine.



Now I've had intestine of all shapes and sizes before. Normally, they are tasteless with a very nice crunchy texture. THIS particular brand of poo chute was stuffed with veggies and some other stuff. I asked politely out of curiosity if the poo chute was stuffed BEFORE or AFTER the host animal met it's untimely demise. I was assured it was a post-demise stuffing.

You should also know that almost all of my culinary "dares" have been done with a nice Asian beer in close proximity to my abused gullet. Beer, especially Asian beer, has a nice bitterness that cleans the palate almost instantly of any lingering tastes - both good and not so good.

So based on my past experience with poo chutes, I plopped it into my mouth. At this point, several things happened all at once to cement this as a momentous occasion.

First, one of my colleagues from Taiwan informed me that they use a special leaf to rub down the poo chute to extrude any unpleasant smell or taste. This is pretty much a no-brainer.

Next, I began to chew, expecting a nice crunch. Instead it was very chewy. Now, the thing about chewy foods is that their flavor tends to linger even after the swallow and because it takes longer for your mandibles to break it apart, the flavor is just in your mouth much longer period.

During my furious chewing and praying that the "meat" would break down into pieces small enough to swallow, I started thinking about that stupid leaf and wondering if they were able to really rub this particular poo chute down enough. The more and more I experienced the taste (not wholly unpleasant, but it definitely had a overtone of poo) the more and more my stupid brain got the best of me. It was like a perfect culinary storm of badness.

In addition, the same colleague who mentioned the special poo erasing leaf also happily mentioned that this was a nice treat for him since he now lived in the U.S. and not in Taiwan anymore.

With all of this happening, I quickly swallowed the chute, which was still quite whole. Take that, poo chute, I win!

But the taste lingered. And lingered. And because this was lunch I had no beer to wash it down. I didn't even have any water.

In the end the poo chute had the last laugh. The taste lingered quite intensely until I got back to the office and ate about 20 altoids. By the way, intestine and altoids (the peppermint variety) go quite well together if you ever get the chance.

So not a bad experience, but an interesting one just the same. If you like, drop me a quick email and I'm sure I can get some fried stuffed poo chute drop shipped overnight to you before I leave tomorrow. :)

Where in the World is padaron?

iPhone Promised Land

This week I spent several days in lovely Cupertino, CA, home of the small computer design firm that made Forrest Gump and Lieutenant Dan quite rich. I'm not a fan, and I'm definitely not a fanboi, but my recent acquisitions of things like Apple TV and an iPhone betray me.



Like a spoiled child, my iPhone constantly nagged me all week to show it where it's style and design were born. I ignored it, mainly because I didn't want to look like a goober fanboi taking pictures of the Apple world headquarters, but much like buying an iPhone, I eventually acquiesced. On the way to the airport I did a quick drive-by, praying that rent-a-cops with well-designed uniforms didn't come charging out of the perfectly stylized glass structure, hell-bent on arresting me.



As it turns out, my iPhone wasn't all that appreciative that I took such a risk for it, nor was it even impressed by the scenery. Ungrateful little ... If it wasn't for the freakishly long battery life and the slick user interface that makes me look uber-hip when I use it, I'd dump it for my old BlackBerry in a heartbeat.

Where in the World is padaron?