F=MA (AKA I'm Bigger Than You)

I'm not a big fan of riding the train/subway in Taipei during rush hour. I learned pretty quickly that there's not really a concept of personal space and if you want to occupy a space in time, then you'd better be pretty aggressive about it. This is not rude - it's just the way it is here.

The problem is that I'm roughly twice as big (mass) as 99.9% of the population here. In addition I tend to walk 1.5 times as fast (acceleration) as the average person here. Ergo, if I remember my High School Physics from Mr. Matthews, I lay absolute waste (force) to anybody I come into contact with when we both attempt to occupy the same space at the same time.

Again, I'm not trying to be rude, and neither are they, but I'm still a person who doesn't like to come in contact with strangers, even if it is to bend over and help them up after they bounce off of my like a guy 2 cards short of a full deck in a padded room.

I guess my payback comes to me when children see me coming. They stare at me as if they've never seen anything like me. Now, granted, I'm probably the closest thing to a real Adonis most of them have ever seen... but staring and pointing and saying things in Mandarin they think I don't understand? That's okay because I'm learning Mandarin and one of these days my 36-year old vocabulary is going to catch up with their 3-year old vocabulary and they'll be sorry...

I've also noticed that there are 4 very distinct types of "blockers" during my commute on the trains and in the train stations. All of them make me remember that I must truly control my acceleration because controlling my mass is a strategic goal, not a tactical one.

The Esca-blocker. The Esca-blocker is the person who either doesn't realize or doesn't care that if you're standing you stand on the right and if you're walking you walk on the left. The Esca-blocker kinda meanders in the middle not letting the walkers by. This is generally where I try to "squeeze" by, but it's also where my mass comes into play and next thing you know my acceleration has caused me to force all over them. Sorry but I'm in a hurry for no particular reason and everybody else does it...

The Get On-blocker. The Get On-blocker is generally the person who is standing in the doorway of the train even though there is tons of room in the car. The problem is that I need to get on the train. Whoops - excuse my force, got mass?

The Get Off-blocker. The Get Off-blocker is a curious sort. Everybody knows when you get to Taipei Main Station that at least half of the car is going to want to get off. The Get Off-blocker generally stands in front of the door as people try to rush out in the internationally accepted period of time. After all, nobody likes to not be able to get off the train because somebody is in the way. Bam! That damn acceleration...

The Get Off-blocker 2.0. This is a new one to me and one that I discovered for the first time just today. The train was approaching Taipei Main Station. OK, quick - get into position and make sure you're not behind a Get Off-blocker. Oh, hello stranger - what's that? Oh you want to get in front of me? No problem. OK here it comes get ready... GO! Only the person that just shuffled in front of me is not getting off! What the...? Why on earth would you push your way to the door from the back of the car only to stand there? Use the force, Ron...

Anyhow, please don't take this as negative as I don't mean it to be. Sometimes things here are 180 degrees different than what I've come to expect. Personal space is one of those things. Luckily I've got enough personal space for the both of us.